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Joshua Price

"Dark Deceptions" by Joshua Price

SF&F Picture 11 out of 30 by Joshua Price
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This story is the best of '05 for me and the beginning of my current style. For quite awhile, it even competed for position of 'best story overall' with A Fate Worse Than Death and Is Freedom Not Worth Dying For? If you've read my whole gallery but don't recognize that last one, its because its not fantasy enough to make it to Elfwood. Its got guys with swords and spears on horseback and...ummm...thats it. No unique races, magic, etc.

This is still a pretty good story for me, though I could do better...but not so much that I'm certain I'll revise this. Maybe, I don't know. Also, this story is possibly canon, unlike over half of my gallery now.

Update 10/12/07: Fairly minor, changed Josh's name to Isaac. Yeah, some people thought he was me. He isn't, and I was getting tired of it. I'm doing that in all the works he appears in to avoid any confusion.

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Daniel, a member of the Phoenix Knights, was in one of the squads sent to Rhedin to clean up the remaining resistance. Isaac Tigerheart was in charge of the squads there and was proving to be effective in leading them against the Vanolian stragglers. During this time, Daniel met a woman and feel deeply in love. Several months passed and their love grew more. Then, a woeful day came when a surprise attack by the last remaining stragglers came upon where Daniel was stationed. His love was killed...

The Phoenix Knight climbed the cracked stone steps leading into the temple, carrying the body of his love. He was still garbed in his dark green uniform, not bothering to have changed for this trip, nor did he care to. He even still carried his sword, his phoenix blade, though he did not notice the weight of it and its hilt upon his back. His sun-tanned skin and black hair was plastered with sweat from the effort, his semi-asian face twisted with strain. As he did, his thoughts went back yet again to when he saw his love shot by one of those vile Vanolians. He quickly broke out in tears after the enemy was routed. Isaac Tigerheart came to mind as well, wearing his own dark green uniform which had the added decorations of his positions. He could remember those green eyes staring directly into his own as his squad commander had comforted him in a soldiers fashion.

"Get yourself together!" Isaac shouted, "She isn't lost yet!"

"Thats not true!" Daniel had shouted back, "You saw her shot, you see her dead."

"I know what I saw, but it can be fixed! She does not have to stay that way!"

"Lies!"

"Calm down and listen!" Isaac said as he slapped Daniel across the face, bringing some sense into his mind, "There is an old, unused temple nearby. Inside there is an altar. Theres a good chance that the altar still has it's power, the power to raise the dead. Its the only way, for there is nobody close enough who can revive her in time. Go there and bring her back soon, we return to Tyrekon in a few hours."

Daniel did nothing for a moment, but was soon prompted by a another shout of "Go!"

Now he was here, to undo what those fiends had done. But he had doubts. What if the magic was gone? What if the local tales were wrong? She would be lost forever. So would his heart. Daniel entered the temple and spotted the altar. His emotions clouded his senses. Otherwise, he would have noticed the man in the shadows. He would have felt the taint of dark magic that had infested the altar. Oblivious, he approached the altar. As he did, the man smiled, or more really, made a sinister grin. The man whispered softly to himself "Yes...yes..." over and over, each 'yes' filled with more dark joy than the last.

Daniel climbed the final stairs and looked over the top of the altar. There was a depression in it, shaped perfectly for a body. It was clear what he must do. He knew it was the only way. He lifted his love's body and laid her on the edge of the altar. He rested a brief moment and then lightly pushed her into the depression. There was a flash of blinding yellow light that filled the room. When the light cleared there was...there was...

...nothing but dust in the depression.

Daniel stared in helpless shock, unable to speak or do anything. Thoughts raced through his mind. He felt everything inside break and shut down. What...what had he done? He collapsed to the ground, his legs giving out, and wept. It was then that the man exited the shadows and approached, knowing he had him right where he wanted him.

"She did not come back to life as he said she would," the man said, his voice having that dark tone that sent chills down the spine.

Daniel slowly looked up to him. "What did you say?" he whispered.

"He lied to you. He wanted to destroy you."

"No, he wouldn't..." Daniel said, no longer whispering. He got up to where he was on his knees. The man was in front of him now, looking down to him.

"Oh, he wouldn't? Then why did he send you here? He knew this altar would do that."

Daniel stared at him, unable to speak, the man's words seeping down into his body like a deadly poison, slowly making it's way towards his brain.

"Yes, he knew. He knew that there was someone around who could raise the dead."

"W-who?" Daniel replied, the venomous words taking effect on him now.

The man leaned closed before replying. His face was only a few inches away from Daniel's.

"Me."

Somehow, that last word was they key that unlocked Daniel's defenses and opened him wide to the invasion of the man's words. Daniel's body went numb and suddenly began to feel that the man was all knowing, all wise, all powerful. The man could give him retribution...

"No doubt you want to return the favor, do you not?"

"Yes..." Daniel said quietly at first, getting louder, angrier, and less sane as he went, "He must suffer for what he has done. No...he must die. They all must die for letting her die."

"Yes. They will pay. You are not powerful enough to do that. But I will give you enough power if you go now before they return to their hide aways."

Daniel had shifted from being on his knees to kneeling before the man.

"What must I do.?"

"Go now, and destroy them. But you will need this."

The man focused and the room grew darker, and darker, and darker... It was pitch black. The man suddenly thrusted both hands towards Daniel, but did not touch him. Sick green light came forth from the palms and went into Daniel. The energy coursed through his body, making him feel powerful, very powerful. He could feel it throbbing within him, begging...no...demanding for release. After several moments, it ended and the light returned.

"Now go, Daniel, fulfill your vengeance and join me, Praetor Trenix. Together, we will make the entire Phoenix Dominion pay."

Daniel stood up and grabbed his weapon, his phoenix blade. It had changed now. It was entirely black and had etchings of people in agony on the blade...

-------------------------------

Daniel approached the outpost where Isaac Tigerheart had set up command. It was the smallest one and soon to leave. It was located on a steep cliff, typical a defensive position. The drop off prevented pursuit of the escaping craft should the need ever had arisen. Daniel stepped up to the door. Moments later, he was scanned, confirmed, and allowed in.

"Ahh, your back," said a soldier, "Wait...where is..."

Thats all he got to say. Without word, Daniel used his weapon to decapitate him in a single clean swipe. Somehow, his phoenix blade's cutting abilities had grown from the power up. Not surprising, given how his, like all Phoenix Knight's had their weapon forged with part of their life essence.

"Sound the...." a soldier attempted to shout before finding a blade protruding from his gut.

The outpost was manned only by 14 other soldiers in groups of two. The rest of the staff was defenseless, as most of the soldiers had already left for Tyrekon. In each room Daniel entered and used his phoenix blade and magical powers associated with Phoenix Knight training to strike down everyone before alarm could be sounded...to a degree...

-------------------------------

Isaac dropped the box he was holding when he heard the sounds of screams. They were close and getting closer. They were above, on the observation balcony. Without hesitating a moment, Isaac grabbed his phoenix blade, Tigerheart Fury, and dashed off.

-------------------------------

"No, please, don't....AHHHHHhhhhhh....."

Those were the last words of the final man as he was thrown off the balcony. Only Isaac was left to deal with. Daniel turned to go find his primary target. Lucky for him, it came bursting through the door. His target looked first to the dead people, then to Daniel's blood soaked weapon, and then Daniel himself.

"D-Daniel? How could you?" Isaac asked quietly, his voice filled with confusion and sorrow.

"Revenge, for what you did!" Daniel replied, almost shouting.

"I did?" Isaac said defensively, much louder now, "What did I do?"

"You sent me to that cursed altar! You knew what it would do!"

Isaac stopped and calmed down before he responded, "She...doesn't live...?"

Daniel was enraged with Isaac's ignorance. How could he not know? He sent him there!

"Of course she doesn't live! She never will live again now! Because of you her body is dust!" Daniel began to loose his anger and his words became sad, quiet, and slow. "I laid her on that altar and her body disintegrated. I saw it happen. She is gone now...gone forever..."

Isaac thought for a moment as silence filled the air. How could this have happened? That altar wouldn't have done that...unless...

"Daniel! Don't you see it? Someone casted dark magic on that altar which caused it to do that. Someone is trying to use you!"

"LIES! All lies! You knew it would happen! You want me to suffer! I will kill not only you, but all of you for what you have done!"

Daniel raised his weapon as if he was about to swing. Isaac slowly raised his own and replied softly.

"I...I'm sorry Daniel. I'm sorry it has to end this way..."

Then, with a shout of rage, Daniel rushed forward at Isaac. Isaac knew that the looser of this battle would be dead and his Daniel would not quit until he was a winner was declared. He knew, despite his feelings, he had to hold nothing back. Therefore, he immediately he used his abilities. Isaac raised his weapon into the air with both hands, the blade pointing skyward. He had enough time to do this, given the distance between him and Daniel, as well as the relatively short casting time. Moments later, the blade of Tigerheart Fury glowed white and several images of Isaac shot from his body and re-entered while spinning around him.

Isaac then came at Daniel with a blinding speed, granted by the spell he just used. However Daniel had his methods to deal with that. One of the things granted by Trenix was anti-magic. Daniel slowed down to a stop, almost skidding because of the speed at which he did. Then, with the wave of Daniel's hand, Isaac's spell was gone.

The two were too close then to do anything but fight sword to sword. Isaac was better through experience, but Daniel had that strange power. The two attacked each other swiftly, but only found the other's weapon in the way. Neither moved much, keeping at a walk at most, only going backwards and forwards at a slow pace. The speed at which the two move their weapons was unbelievable. It was a blur of blades and a continuous sound of metal striking metal. Sparks flew from the weapons, showering the floor beneath them. After several minutes of this, they both disengaged for a moment.

They then came at each other once more, spinning their weapons at their sides. Both then did a complete turn and brought their weapons around, both doing the same move. The weapons struck and held. Their face's were close to each other's, mere inches away. As they fought to overpower the other in a weapon lock they stared each other in the eye, Daniel giving a look of rage and hatred, Isaac returning it with cold determination.

Finally Daniel backed off and took several steps back. As a result, he was standing near the ledge, but was too involved into the fighting to notice, and neither did Isaac for the same reasons. Isaac stepped forward and feigned an attack, which Daniel moved to block but ended up finding the flat of a blade striking him across the chest. However, Isaac didn't manage to bring the edge to bear as he had planned, which would have brought the fight to a hasty conclusion. Daniel stumbled backwards and fell down. Luckily, five feet below, there was another ledge from the floor below, the one that stuck out the farthest. Isaac lowered his weapon and shrugged.

"Its over Daniel," Isaac said with grim finality ringing in his voice, "In our positions there is no way you can reach me without being struck down. Now please...surrender."

Those words were hard to utter, but he managed made them sound confident.

But Daniel refused to yield.

"You underestimate me!" He shouted.

"No...don't!" Isaac called out in vain.

Daniel then jumped, surprisingly high, his use of power quite obvious as per the red glow that emanated from his legs briefly. Isaac was surprised, but his training refused to let him hesitate. Daniel came forward in the air and closed in, his weapon above his head to bring it down vertically and slice his former squad commander in two. But Isaac did not lie, there was no way Daniel could reach him. Isaac made sure, but could not bring himself to use his weapon, but instead delivered a kick to his former friend's chest. The blow sent him backwards, too far to get back.

Surprise filled Daniel's face as he fell, his weapon falling from his hand. He quickly fell out of sight, making no scream as he fell. Isaac walked to the edge and looked over and saw nothing. And lowered his head and spoke quietly.

"Arica, I'm sorry. Please forgive me for what I have done. I... I had no choice..."

On that last sentence Isaac choked up and tears came to his eyes. He had been a good friend with Daniel and became friends with Arica as well when the two fell in love. Now, they were both gone. This was war and he knew there was a good possibility. He had even lost friends before. But, nothing could harden the heart against such tragic loss.

With his head low, he turned and walked away.

--------------------------------------

Daniel awoke at the bottom of the cliff. Somehow, he had survived. He wasn't quite sure how. Could his new power...?

The next thing that struck him was pain. It filled every inch of his body, paralyzing him within it's hot grip. As he slipped back into unconsciousness, he thought he saw a large bird descending on him...

--------------------------------------

Daniel awoke again in a bed. Trenix was there.

"They escaped to Tyrekon," Trenix said, "Isaac Tigerheart was more powerful than I thought. You weren't ready. Rest now Daniel, for you need to let your body heal. You will recover fully. When you do, your vengeance against Isaac and the Phoenix Dominion can continue."

With that, Daniel fell unconscious once more.

←- Blitzball, Its Not a Game, Its a Life Style | Dawn of Twilight -→

DateNameComment 
19 Jul 2006:-) Douglas Eckhart
You didn't, by any chance, write this after seeing the third Star Wars movie, did you? ^_^;

There are some mis-spelled words in there. Loose instead of lose, and things like that. I would have helped to give 'his love' a name before the end when Josh refers to her name.

Not that I have any particular leanings in that direction, but if you wanted to make it a really shocking deception story, you could change the part where it reads: "both then did a complete turn and brought their weapons around, both doing the same move. The weapons struck and held. Their face's were close to each other's, mere inches away." To have Josh kiss him at that point, on the cheek or something for shock value, and say, "You're right... I couldn't bear to see you with someone else. Arica was always in the way of our love!" Daniel would reel in shock, and then Josh could stab him and laugh... Of course that might ruin the chances for a sequel... but it's just a suggestion.


Either way, it's a good story. I was really impressed by the names you gave everything. They gave everything an official feel. Keep up the good work. Too bad they won't let you post the 2nd greatest story because of lack of fantasy content.

:-) Joshua Price replies: "Yea, I did see Episode 3 before writing this. I had been toying with ideas beforehand on this story and the movie gave me the proper spark to writing it.As shocking as it would be for Josh to do that, it wouldn't be in character to say the least. Theres deep backstory on both of the characters which I hope to touch on in some way at a later time which would help explain why they acted as they did. Thanks for the feedback and suggestions, both are always helpfull. 2"
21 Sep 200645 Jax
I liked realism in a fantasy story, and as mentioned by someone previously, it would have helped to give the name of Daniel's love in the beginning. This is the first of your that I've read, I picked it at random, but it was interesting.
You have real talent, you just need to work on descriptions of things. Your sentences start out wonderful and gripping, then end kinda blah. You have to take that enthusiam through to the very end.
Also, it would be helpful in picturing the story to give a little more attention to things like the weather. For instance when Daniel and Josh are using all the power and magic at the end, it would have been more dramatic to also have a storm brewing, with the raging, dark clouds swirling overhead.
Just some suggestions, no intentions of offending. Critiscm is what makes a convicted writer. We all need it.

:-) Joshua Price replies: "Hey, I like it when people point out both the good and the bad in my stories and also give suggestions. I'd rather have two comments like yours than two hundred comments that only say "Its good" or "Its bad". "
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About 'Dark Deceptions':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Joshua Price
 • Copyright: ©Joshua Price. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Fighting, Betrayal, Lostlove, Deception, Revenge, Phoenixknight
 • Categories: Extrateresstial, Alien Life Forms, Fights, Duels, Battles, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Romance, Emotion, Love, Spaceships, Ships, Bessels, Transportation..., Techno, Cyber, Technological, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins
 • Views: 265


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